I love G1 Tranformers. Those that know me as a TransFan know that, even to this day, I consider G1 Transformers to be the greatest TFs of all time. I buy most of the G1 re-issues that come out, both US and Japan. I buy DVD releases of the G1 cartoons. I read comics that tie into the G1 continuity. The Classic/Universe line may be my favorite line of TF toys currently, but even this line is G1 inspired (most of the time). There is just something charming and endearing about the G1 line that no other TF line since has managed to capture. (And yes, that includes the Michael Bay TFs, which IMO are some of the worst ever.)

So with that said, I will also say that there were many, many lame ideas to come out of G1. Some of these ideas are up there with the best (or worst) of all lame ideas in the history of mankind, such as New Coke or the Geico Cavemen TV show. Some of these ideas are G1 specific, and it’s good to see them die with G1. But many of these ideas are carried over into the later lines, and have had a long and lasting legacy of lameness. It’s nice to see G1 have such a deep and profound influence on all TFs onward, but some of these ideas are just so lame, they need to stop.

Below I present my top 10 lame ideas that either started or were made famous in G1.

10. Reflectors
These three gets the proud distinction of having the most inefficient transformation of all time. Think about it. Three powerful Deception Warriors, each having no alt modes of their own, that need to come together and form… a camera?! Is Decepticon technology so limited that a robot cannot transform into a camera by itself?! While we’re on the topic, I think having camera capabilities built into the optic sensors of all TFs should be standard gear for a race that has achieved transformation, mass-shifting, and space travel. And we see from the opening moments of the 1986 Movie that even Lazerbeak has camcorder equipment built into his head. This makes the alt mode of the Reflectors even more useless, and the fact it takes three of them to do it makes it lame. And it looks like they can’t even take pics and send them digitally, they have to print them out like Polaroids for its reader (I can understand if this is done for humans, but for Thundercracker?!). If the camera is more disguise than function, it still makes little sense as to why 3 Decepticons are required. Yeah I know this is how the toy was, but the toy was lame even for 80s standards. Supposedly, Megatron selected some of his best for the mission of tracking the Autobots aboard the Nemesis. I can’t believe he picked these three. Or maybe they had better Cybertron alt modes but Teletran made them stupid. Whatever the case, I’m glad the Reflectors (or any other group with similar inefficiencies) did not make it past G1.

9. Sky Lynx
There’s just something unappealing about Sky Lynx. It’s hard to put your finger on it and give concrete reasons. Maybe it’s the fact that he doesn’t have a robot mode. Maybe it’s his snobby British accent. Maybe it’s because he was introduced in Season 3 and that was such a crappy season. Maybe because the toy offered a transformation that was so unbelievably obvious for a figure of that size. Or maybe I just don’t like the gimmick of him splitting into two components. Whatever the reason, I dare say Sky Lynx is one of the lamest Transformers ever designed. When I was a kid I knew no one that had him (most probably because he was an expensive piece). Sky Lynx was not re-issued at all after G1 until the recent Encore line, and I’m still scratching my head as to why he was chosen to be re-issued over much cooler TFs, such as Dinobots or Constructicons. I think MSRP for the Encore was close to $100, and now most online sites have him at around $40. That alone should be testament to his unpopularity. Heck, I would even buy Encore versions of Reflectors if they made them, but not Sky Lynx.

8. Use of English Expressions in Cybertronian Context
Expressions in one language usually does not translate well into another, usually for cultural reasons. If I wanted to tell a Chinese person that “the devil’s in the details”, I would not literally use those words. This is why it really pains me when I see Transformers use English expressions, and give it a Cybertronian spin. Expressions across different parts of the Earth don’t even translate well, so why would expressions across worlds be any better? Some choice examples: “Five up, five down! It’s like shooting cyber-ducks in a barrel!”, “When are we gonna start bustin deceptachops?”, or “Aint no one calling me a robot chicken!” This is seriously lame. TF writers need to come up with some new material.

7. Parts Appearing Out of Nowhere
I’m sure all G1 fans have noticed this. A TF would transform from one mode to another, and all the parts that you need to attach to the other mode in the toy, they just magically appear out of nowhere. The reverse is true too; some parts simply disappear into thin air. I had the toys of several G1 cars, like Smokescreen, Jazz, and Trailbreaker. None of them can carry their guns and missiles in their alt modes. So where do they come from when they transform into robot mode? Do they just pull it out of their ass? Megatron doesn’t walk around with his attachments, so when he transforms into the gun, where do the silencer and the shoulder mount come from? Omega Supreme would often fly off somewhere and we only see the rocket. When the rocket lands at the destination and the smoke clears, the rest of Omega Supreme magically appears. WTF?! Perhaps the most famous example of this is none other than Optimus Prime. Everytime he transforms into the truck, no matter where he is, the trailer magically comes from behind and attaches itself to his ass. What gives? G1 made no effort to explain any of this. It’s nice to see the modern toys make room for all the accessories in all the modes so we don’t have to wonder if they are hiding stuff in their body cavities.

6. Facial Hair
Tom Selleck. Burt Reynolds. Billy Dee Williams. These are guys that look good with facial hair. Alpha Trion. Scourge. Wreck-Gar. These are guys that DO NOT look good with facial hair. In fact, Transformers should not even have facial hair. I like to remind all character designers working on Transformers… THEY ARE ROBOTS!!! Robots don’t have hair! Period! Maybe beards and mustache looking attachments are given to these characters to convey a look of authority, but it doesn’t work for me. Find some other way to convey the same look. I know I’ve seen facial hair on both Beast Wars and TFA characters. Heck, even Jetfire in ROTF had a beard. This is a trend that needs to stop. Like, now. A young TF needs to transform into a electric razor and shave them all. Whoever does that deserves to inherit the Matrix and become Autobot leader.

5. Killing Optimus Prime
Sometimes you sit on a gold mine and not know it. This was exactly the case when Hasbro approved the idea of killing everyone’s favorite Autobot leader. Word has it that in 1986, kids were walking out of movie theaters crying, and angry parents wrote nasty letters to Hasbro demanding explanations as to why death of a central character was a major theme in a kid’s movie. Personally, I loved the movie because it was mature beyond its years. But from a financial perspective, Prime’s death was a really bad move for Hasbro. Not only does the franchise lose its most recognizable character, Hasbro can no longer sell figures of the iconic Optimus Prime. I think Hasbro has learned its lesson since then. Later in G1, Optimus was revived. Every TF line after G1 featured some form of Optimus Prime. Even in ROTF, Prime was killed about midway thru, only to be revived by film’s end. And of course Hasbro has made a figure for every single one of these Primes, and suckered us fans into wasting our hard earned dollars to acquire them. Damn you, Hasbro.

4. Female Transformers
No offense to all the female readers out there (all 3 of you), but female Transformers… what exactly does that mean? Before the introduction of females, many fans assumed that Transformers were gender neutral. But the writers went ahead and created some female Autobots, perhaps as a way to win more female TF fans. No one really knows if that really worked, but it sure sparked a debate as to why Transformers would even have genders. I know at one point, the US Marvel G1 comics had maintained the position that female Autobots were not really female, the were just Autobots that resembled human females. They also had a reason for Arcee, supposedly “she” was created by the Autobots to be some kind of public relations between the Autobots and Earth’s female population. Whatever the official story was, none of it really made sense. I’m guessing many TF fans don’t really think about this, and just simply accept it as if TFs are like people. This is perhaps what the writers counted on, as I’m pretty sure female TFs have appeared in every TF line after G1. Personally, I feel that female TFs should not have been introduced. They never played a major role in G1 anyway (arguable for Beast Wars). Some ideas are best left unexplored, and this is one of them.

3. Repaints
Repaints. Redecos. Recolors. Whatever you call them, this is an idea that reached new heights (or lows) with G1. This is actually a smart idea on the part of Takara/Hasbro, but it’s lame that they make one mold and then milk us fans over and over with different colors of the same thing. I guess there are other toys lines that do this too. Heck, even anime figures has resorted to this. But I don’t think any other toy line is more guilty of this than Transformers. G1 took this concept to new levels of craziness. Perhaps the most infamous example of this is the Seekers, 6 jets that were essentially the same as each other. Even as a kid I was not fooled, and made a point of buying toys that were different molds before I even considered repaints. But even today, repaints are alive and well. One of these days I should compile a TF repaint database and get some statistics as to how many TF molds have a repaint and how often. I doubt repaints would stop any time soon, though. I don’t mind repaints done in moderation, but it’s excessive when it seems like every mold is repainted. We as fans have to be strong and not buy recolored crap.

2. Actionmasters
I love to meet the geniuses that came up with this idea. Actionmasters appeared in the twilight days of G1, when sales were dwindling. One Hasbro exec probably said, “Transformers sales suck. We gotta do something different. But what?” Another one probably answered, “I know, let’s make Transformers that don’t transform!” The first one responds, “Yeah! Let’s do it!” Then they high five each other. Then G1 Transformers dies for good. There is a story to the “Actionmasters” that don’t transform. Prime and company finds a source of energy called Nucleon that is 10 times better than Energon and makes them much more powerful. But one side effect is they lose their transformation. As for the toys, I’m guessing the figures sucked. I don’t know a single person that has bought these. I read somewhere that Hasbro pursued this idea only because the toys can be easily molded based off of G.I.Joe figures at the time. Non-Transformers are so lame, I was so tempted to put them in the top spot, if not for…

1. Pretenders
Pretenders also came out during the final seasons of G1, after they stopped doing the US G1 cartoons. I think the idea of a Transformer hiding inside a shell is on the same level of lameness as Actionmasters, but Pretenders get the nod for the top spot simply because Hasbro really thought this was a good idea. Many Pretender figures were made, and variations of the Pretender theme were introduced. The basic Pretender is a TF in bot mode hiding inside a humanoid Pretender shell, but then they also made Pretender Vehicles (alt mode inside a vehicle shell), Pretender Beasts (alt mode inside a creature shell), and Mega Pretenders (shells that transform). Some classic characters even got incorporated into the Pretender line, like Jazz, Bumblebee, and Grimlock. I no longer remember the backstory for the Pretenders in the G1 comics. In Stormbringer, Simon Furman came up with a pretty good explanation. Cybertron is completely polluted with radioactive material on the surface from years of the war, so in order to survive, some Decepticons started wearing these shells to protect themselves from the radiation. However we still don’t see any Autobots wearing the human shells, so even Furman can’t explain that one. I was so afraid that Michael Bay would find out about the Pretenders, because I knew he would be all over this. Sure enough, my worst fears were realized in ROTF when Alice was revealed to be a Pretender. But I guess the good news in all this is that Pretenders pretty much died with G1. Rest in pieces.

Until the next lame idea… Transform and Roll Out!

Ultra Magnus is one of my favorite G1 characters. There’s a reason why the Autobot Matrix of Leadership was left with him when Prime was on his death bed. UM is both an excellent soldier and capable field commander. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if he had become leader instead of that punk Hot Rod. Maybe G1 Transformers never would have died and even today we still be in G1 (ok maybe not, but I can dream).

As a toy, UM usually does not get the love he deserves. In almost all toy lines, he is simply a repaint of the Optimus Prime toy in that line (only exception I can think of is TFA, which has a kick-ass UM toy btw). In the Classic line this was as usual the case. Hasbro repainted Prime into white and blue, packaged him along with Skywarp, and released this 2-pack set as a Target Exclusive in early 2007. Don’t get me wrong, I love this mold. Out of all my Prime toys, I rank this mold in the top 3. I just wish that Hasbro gave UM a unique mold, or make tweaks to the Prime mold to make UM stand out a little more.

Enter FansProject. In 2008 they released the TFX-01 City Commander, an armor set for Classic Ultra Magnus. In alt mode, this set is attached as his trailer. In robot mode, the trailer transforms into his armor that is very reminiscent of the G1 character. I won’t go into the details, but this set is perhaps the greatest TF add-on that has ever been produced. The units quickly sold out. It retailed for about $75. I had to ebay mine sometime later at around $110. 🙁

As great as TFX-01 was, it was not perfect. TF fans, being what they are (read: super picky), were quick to point out that the set did not include his missiles, and still did not address the issue of his very un-G1-like gun. In response to this, FansProject released TFX-03, an add-on set to TFX-01 that includes both the missiles and a new gun that is more in tune with the design of UM’s G1 gun. TFX-03 includes a few more items that I will go into detail for this post.

I bought TFX-03 from BigBadToyStore. I’ve never bought anything from them before, so as a first purchase I felt it was safe to try something cheap. TFX-03 retails for $11.99 only, not a bad item to try BBTS with. Cheapest shipping option was about $7 which made the whole thing close to $20.

The item arrived one whole week before Thanksgiving, but I was not home so I picked this up in person at the UPS office the next day. I knew there wouldn’t be much in the add-on, so imagine my surprise when they handed me this box. I placed it next to a soda can so you get a sense of the size.

I started to wonder if this would be something extraordinary, to have it shipped in such a large box. Imagine my disappointment when I got home and opened the box.

I put this next to the same soda can to show how puny this add-on set is. I guess for the price, this is what you get. But why did BBTS have to use such a large box? I think they could have used smaller packaging which would translate to lower shipping costs for their customers. So already my impression of BBTS is not that favorable. But this post is not about BBTS so I’ll stop ranting now.

As far as the packaging goes for TFX-03, I’m a little disappointed. Yeah I know it’s just accessories, but I still feel it should have come in a box. This thing feels like a cheap lunch bag. Some fans have pointed out that they did this so you can store the whole thing in the box of TFX-01. Maybe. But nevertheless I’m still not impressed.

I was out of town for Thanksgiving, but I finally got around to opening this today. Inside the package there is one cardboard that serves as the instructions and all the items inside bubble wrap. The pic below shows all the items.

There are two shoulder launchers, each with 2 missiles. The missiles do not fire at all, but they can be detached. There is the G1-like gun. I should have took pics of this, but the gun can transform as well. In this pic here, it is in cannon mode. It can transform into rifle mode. It’s not a complex transformation by any means, but it still looks kinda cool. The items inside the bag are extra replacement faces for the City Commander. My understanding is that it is hard to swap these faces, and I already like how UM looks, so I’m not even gonna bother with these. But in case you’re curious, there are three faces here. The top face in the bag is like the face for Shadow Commander. The middle face is like the one that is on TFX-01, but I think this one has the eyes painted white. The bottom face has UM’s mouth open. If you want to give City Commander a OMG look (like when Galvatron and the Sweeps are shooting him good) then you use this face.

Here is the alt mode with the missiles mounted. On the set I got, the launchers on the right side stays on ok, but on the left side they do not stay on that well. They are attached to the trailer by these slots that fit over some tabs toward the upper-front area. Just shaking the unit a little will cause the launchers to fall off, but I guess this is the best they can do when originally missiles were not designed for it. Also, the gun cannot be attached in the the alt mode, which is a disappointment.

At this point I should mention that there is a combined set that includes both TFX-01 and TFX-03 in one package, released in 2009. The items of TFX-03 are exactly the same in the combination set, but the trailer/armor is tweaked slightly from TFX-01 to better accommodate the new accessories. For instance, there are holes carved into the side of the enhanced trailer, and to attach the missiles you just use the pegs on the launchers. On the 09 version it is also possible to attach the gun to the trailer. I don’t know how, but the instructions show that it’s possible. The combination set retails for about $88 at BBTS, and that’s certainly a better deal than buying them separately. If I didn’t already have TFX-01, I definitely get this new set. Seems like it is better and cheaper too.

Here is the City Commander is robot mode. The missile launchers fit nicely in this mode. There are holes already punched into the shoulders, so you simply insert the pegs on the launchers. Some people have complained that these are loose and that they easily fall off, but mine seems to be ok. Seems fairly tight to me. He is holding the gun in cannon mode. I don’t think it is possible to hold it in rifle mode in bot mode, there is too much in the way.

Another shot of UM with all his weapons. Come and get some.

These missiles here are actual G1 missiles launchers on the original Ultra Magnus. They can be attached to TFX-01 as well, using the same holes on the shoulders. FansProject sure thought of everything. I purposely left one missile out so you see the custom spring I engineered into the launchers. These US G1 launchers originally did not come with springs so the missiles don’t fire at all, unlike their Japanese counterparts. When I was a kid, I found some springs and put them in. Now they fire at least 10 feet. An achievement I’m still very proud of to this day.

City Commander with original G1 launchers attached.

City Commander with ROTF Leader Class Optimus. With the armor, UM is only a tad smaller. I like to see some Decepticons try to mess with these two.

Well folks, there you have it. My final verdict is that TFX-03 is a good add-on, but a little disappointing due to the reasons I mentioned. If I was rating the 09 version with TFX-03 I might give it a higher recommendation, but as for those of you that already have TFX-01, only get the add-on if you really want the missiles, the gun, or the extra faces.

Transform and Roll Out!

I’m home for Thanksgiving, and so this weekend I have access to some of my old TFs and TF-related items from back in the 80s. One of the oldest items that I still have in my possession is a Diaclone catalog. This catalog came with the Dinobot Slag, or to be more accurate, the Dialcone toy that would eventually become Slag. I was already living in the United States at the time, and my aunt bought me the toy during one of her trips to Asia. I loved the toy of course, but I had no idea that he would eventually become part of the Transformers cast. And so I was pleasantly surprised the first time I saw him in War of the Dinobots and thinking, “Yeah! He’ll be a Tranformer and I already have him!”

All true TransFans know that the Dialcone toys made up the majority of the TF cast in the first two seasons. I’ve had some other Diaclones from those days, but this is the only catalog that survived. As you can see from the scans, this catalog is pretty wrinkled. As a kid, I used to look at this thing day and night, wishing I had every single one of these. Now that I’m a grown man I’m still kinda wishing for the same thing 🙂

Behold the awesomeness of a 80s Japanese catalog and witness these images for yourself below. oh, this catalog reads from left to right (like an American book).

This is the cover. Other than the title, everything’s in English. The Constructicons were to “rescue” and “keep peace” in the Diaclone line? That’s a trip.

I guess the opening pages goes into some back story. I can only read the Kanji, but that alone makes little sense.

Here we have Optimus and all the Autobot cars. In the Diaclone line, I have the red Tracks and red Sunstreaker shown here. Tracks is still in decent shape, but I have no idea what happened to Sunstreaker.

Jumpstarters are featured on the left page. The toys kinda sucked after you get past the gimmick. Also, they did not at all appear in the G1 cartoons, but it’s nice to see them get some love in the War Within series. On the opposite page we see a graphic introducing the combiner toys.

The Constructicons have a very different color scheme in the Diaclone line. Devastator’s head looks different too. The 6 trains combiner team never made it to the TF universe. That’s a shame, but trains are not half as interesting has construction vehicles, so I guess Takara/Hasbro made the right choice.

Pics of the Constructicon toys, and a graphic introducing the Dinobots. Go Dinosaur Robo!

All 5 Dinobots are featured here. Colors in robot mode looks slightly different. Notice Slag’s chest is blue, which is what I had. In the TF version he is red. I’m hoping that the Encore series would re-release all of these. I get them all. Come and think of it, I like to see Encore versions of the Constructicons also.

These “Double Changers” became Omnibots. They were special mail-in only TFs in the Hasbro line that required you to pay money and collect those special Hasbro points on the box. I don’t know anyone that had these, probably because getting them was such a pain in the ass. Plus they were never featured in the cartoons. I don’t think War Within mentioned them either.

This is the back cover. Here we see some Seekers and the Insecticons in their Diaclone colors. Don’t recognize the rest.

I hope everyone had a happy Thanksgiving. Transform and Roll Out!

I’ve always wanted to do a group shot of all my Optimus Primes. I didn’t really have anything to do today, other than watch football, so in between halftimes and timeouts I dug out all my Primes from their various hiding spots and assembled them together for a group photo. During the process, even I became amazed at how many Optimus figures I have, and I don’t even have them all. This just goes to show what a popular character the Autobot Leader really is.

From left to right:
Bottom row: Alternator, 2007 Movie (First Strike Voyager class)
Middle row: Cybertron (Deluxe class), Titanium (War Within 1st version), Hybrid (THS-02), G1 (25th Anniversary Reissue), Classic (Voyager class), TFA (Voyager class)
Top row: ROTF (Leader class), Masterpiece (MP-04), 2007 Movie (Leader class)

Below are some of my un-opened figures of Optimus:

Clockwise from top left:
Classic Optimus Prime and Megatron Ultimate Battle 2-Pack (Deluxe class), Robot Masters (RM-01), Alternity (red), Alternity (silver), G1 (2002 TRU Reissue), Encore (01), G1 (25th Anniversary Reissue)

Here is a pic of the Movie Primes in their alt modes:

From left to right:
2007 Movie (First Strike Voyager class), ROTF (Leader class), 2007 Movie (Leader class)

Dune Runner snuck in there, watching from afar, wishing he could hang with the Primes 🙂

And in the words of Optimus Prime, Transform and Roll Out!

I’m normally not a fan of Scout Class figures. I think they’re too small and not worth the value. However the other day I came across this Youtube video by Peaugh. And just so everyone knows, Peaugh is probably THE reviewer for Transformers when it comes to Youtube TF reviews. His status in the TF community is now legendary and I always watch his videos if I’m deciding if I should get a TF figure.

The above video is mostly about Beachcomber. And I’m always excited about G1 characters in any TF toy line. As the video suggests, Beachcomber will appear in ROTF as a repaint of Scout Class Dune Runner. I will be buying Beachcomber as soon as he hits the shelves, but I have no idea how Peaugh gets the figures so early. I don’t think I can wait for Beachcomber, so the next best thing is to buy Dune Runner and check it out for myself, which is exactly what I did.

I’ve had some time to mess this mold now, and I will say that Dune Runner is very cool. He reminds me of Deluxe Landmine from the first movie, but in many ways he is more sturdy. I’ll start with the bot mode since that’s how he’s packaged. I like the overall colors, and he’s nicely proportionate. I think the two guns on this shoulders are very cool, especially for a Scout Class figure. These guns can be adjusted and angled in a number of ways. He’s got a decent level of articulation, he can stand up nicely on his feet, and he holds his poses well. I like his head sculpt too. Most movie figures have this “bug” look that I don’t like, especially in the head design, but I don’t sense that from Dune Runner. If anything, he looks more G1 than ROTF, and in my book that’s a very good thing.

In alt mode, Dune Runner is very nice as well. He is very solid as a dune buggy. The guns in this mode can be angled vertically to make it look like he’s aiming for some Decepticons coming from above. The vehicle mode rolls very nicely on a flat surface. He’s got a fair level of detail in this mode. I’m not sure what is the meaning behind the 0318 painted on the doors. The transformation from bot to buggy is nothing we haven’t seen before and the overall transformation is fairly simple, but keep in mind this is a Scout Class figure, so I’m not exactly looking for originality here.

I do have two minor gripes with this figure. First, from bot to alt mode, it can be hard to get the arms just right to make it fold in. It took me quite a while to figure out the arms are supposed to go exactly. If you don’t get it just right, and side of the buggy won’t line up well and you will see lots of seems on the doors and the roof. The other gripe I have is the price. Sure, at $7.49 he’s very affordable, but considering Deluxe figures only run for $10 and they are twice the size, I expect Scout class figures to be around $5. I guess this is more a complain with Scout Class figures in general and not Dune Runner, but still. If I was very budget conscious, I would not be picking up Scout Class figures. Certainly I would not buy Dune Runner if I already had Landmine (which I do).

But overall, Dune Runner is a very solid mold and I’m glad I picked him up. He is very highly regarded in all the Youtube TF reviews that I have come across, including both SEANxLONG and Optibotimus, in addition to Peaugh. This is the perfect mold to repaint into Beachcomber, because of the dune buggy alt mode, the small size, and the G1-like head sculpt. Dune Runner gets high marks from me and I encourage every TF fan to pick him up. And of course you know I will go out and buy Beachcomber when he appears on day 1.

Here’s to Scout Class figures… Transform and Roll Out!

Now that I have successfully found Insections and Perceptor, my next target to be hunted is the US version of Masterpiece Skywarp.

This is a Walmart Exclusive, as the pic clearly shows. I made a trip earlier today around noon and I did not see him 🙁 However I did see the other 2-Pack that is shown in the pic here, which may indicate that my Walmart will have it soon (I already have Sideways and I already have the Blowpipe mold as Dropkick, so I will pass on the 2-Pack). I got one Walmart near my work and one near my home, and I’ll be checking both frequently until he is hunted. As of this writing there are 31 sightings on Seibertron. I shop at Walmart frequently anyway (I know, bad habit) which makes this a convenient hunt, but I have made trips to Walmart just to hunt for TFs (another bad habit :() so who knows how many trips I’ll make before I find him. MP Skywarp retails for $60.

Oh, and I did check the Walmart website. Skywarp is not on there. And I’m not willing to pay markup from Ebay or other online sellers, so I’ll be making the trips to Walmart. I really don’t mind. There is something fun about finding TFs in person that the online experience simply doesn’t substitute. It’s hard to explain in words.

The US version is different from the Japanese Masterpiece version. This post explains it pretty well in detail. Basically the US version will have the same face as MP Starscream, whereas the Japanese version has a different “high-handed” expression for Skywarp. I would prefer the Japanese one, but it’s around $100. I don’t think paying an extra $40 for the face is worth it.

“Why are my eyes yellow?”
 

“Ahh… this bed is very comfy.”

“Strike when the enemy isn’t looking… oh wait, you are looking.”

That’s all for now. Until next time… Transform and Roll Out!

There are a whole lotta Transformers in the TF universe. To give them more personality and character, the creators of the show gave many of them interesting speech patterns. Some of them are very charming, while others are just plain annoying.

But you gotta figure that for a race with unlimited technological advances at their disposal, such as transformation, mass-shift, intergalactic travel, and space folding just to name a few, fixing speech patterns for the vocally unorthodox should be a simple matter. My guess is Transformers don’t value speech all that highly, or maybe some of them are simply too proud of their individuality.

Below I present my top 10 Transformers that could use a lesson in speech etiquette. I would love to hear any of these guys make a wedding toast.

10. Wheelie Wheelie talks in a funny way. Wheelie will annoy you every day. Wheelie likes humping Megan Fox’s leg. Wheelie rhymes ’cause Wheelie’s gay.

9. Wreck-Gar Wreck-Gar and the Junkions learned how to talk by watching Earth’s TV. I guess it’s true that TV does turn brain to mush. Bah-weep-Graaaaagnah wheep ni ni bong?

8. Blurr Blur talks so fast and so much to hear what he is saying is abolutely positively definitely impossible and you try and try and try but he keeps talking and he talks non-stop and you try some more and you don’t give up until you get him but it’s just impossible impossible impossible.

7. Waspinator Poor Waspinator. The only TF to come from Beast Wars on this list, Waspinator talks in a high-pitch voice, always refers to himself in the third person, and has silly aliases for everyone. He has a tendency to get himself blown up every episode, only to come back in the next episode (if not in the same episode) to get his big stripey butt kicked some more.

6. Seaspray Someone fix Seaspray’s vocal generators stat. This guy sounds like he is constantly under water and his speech is filled with bubble or gurgling sounds. Sometimes I wonder how other Autobots understand him. However a mermaid did fall in love with him so I guess chicks dig it.

5. Warpath Warpath is one over-caffeinated Autobot. He ends every sentence with a “wham”, “bam”, “zoom”, or “yeehaw”. Dude, chill.

4. Insecticons The Insecticons must be around if you hear speech echoes. It sounds pretty cool at first, but after while they just start to bug (pun intended).

3. Omega Supreme Words few. Talk unnecessary. Resolve unyielding. Firepower overwhelming. Personality boring.

2. Soundwave The king of monotone speaking usually has little to say, but when he does, Deceptioncs usually listen. I like the way Soundwave talks, I can’t explain why. But it is ironic that the Decepticon communications officer, with an audio device as his alt mode no less, cannot speak in less robotic ways.

1. Grimlock Me Grimlock no bozo. Me grimlock love Kup’s war stories. Me Grimlock no like you. Me Grimlock love saying me Grimlock. Me Grimlock number one on this stupid list. Me Grimlock King.

Me Grimlock say… Transform and Roll Out!

Today I had some spare time so I decided to compile a list of every Transformer that I own. The list only includes TFs I purchased since 2004, the year that I got back into TF collecting. Compiling this list took a little bit of time, but I’m glad I did. Having a list like this puts in perspective just how many TFs I own 🙂

Hopefully this list will provide some street cred to my TF hardness. Or just demonstrate how crazy about TFs I really am. 🙂

Click here to see the list, or simply click on My TF List on top.

To all the Autobots and Decepticons on this list… Transform and Roll Out!

In a earlier post I mentioned that I must find the 25th Anniversary versions of Insecticons and Perceptor. Yesterday I finally found them at my local TRU. I quickly bought one of each. I know… at $34.99 each they seem a tad expensive, but in the same previous post I went into why I don’t agree. There was still one Perceptor left on the shelve when I left TRU, but no more Insecticons.

Check out the pics below.

I love the artwork and the silver TRU Exclusive sticker on the front. “Decepticon Agents”?! That’s a new one.

“It’s a world where things are not what they seem. It’s a world of heroic Autobots and evil Decepticons who are known as… the Transformers!” They repeated the G1 box descriptions word for word. Awesome!

Both of them with the lid open side by side.

Look at all the details on the Insecticons! They sure don’t make them like this anymore.

Robot, microscope, and… tank! Perceptor kicks ass… or not. He’s a lover not a fighter.

I just noticed that all 3 Insecticons have wheels on the feet in insect mode. Somehow I didn’t think this was weird back in the 80s…

I’m not sure if I will be opening these. In the box they just look too cool and these may be primed to go up in value. We’ll see.

That’s it for now my fellow TransFans. Remember… Transform and Roll Out!

The other day I happened upon an image of movie Optimus Prime, and seeing him with lips just don’t do it for me. That G1 mouthpiece is just too iconic, and seeing movie Prime yap his trap is just silly.

This got me to thinking, what do Transformers need mouths for anyway? Like all machines, they have infinite ways to communicate that humans can only dream of. If they feel the need to “talk”, or if audio transmission is only to communicate with humans, they can easily do it through other standard audio channels. They don’t need to eat. Ingest Energon maybe, but I’m sure they have other means to do so. A mouth for a Transformer simply serves no purpose, but it seems like most TFs have them.

But some clearly do not. So I got to thinking, what are my top favorite TFs that have no mouths? This includes TFs that either use a mouthpiece or is missing a mouth altogether. Below I humbly present my top 10 favorite Transformers that let their actions do their talking for them, instead of their pie holes.

10. Sixshot
Sixshot is unique in the TF universe for being the first TF with 6 modes (I think the only other one is Quickswitch). Truly a one-robot army, he came way too late in the US G1 cartoons to fully make an impact. In the Japanese continuation, however, he has a much bigger role. Sixshot lets all his transformations do the talking for him. It should be noted that his wolf mode does have a mouth, but that’s probably just there to bite all his enemies to shreds. I think my cousin had this toy when we were kids. I believe he was re-issued this decade in Japan, I should hunt one down. Better yet, I like to see a Classic update of this character. To accommodate 6 modes, he’s gotta be Voyager class or bigger. With the toy technology they have today, he would be so awesome. Oh man I’m getting excited just thinking about it.

9. Getaway
I have always loved the Powermasters. The idea that a Nebulan partner transforms into the engine, which then unlocks the Transforming mechanism of the TF, is… well… pretty stupid actually. If I was a TF, and I needed a partner to unlock what I could’ve done any time I pleased, I might as well shoot myself. However, the toys themselves were cool. Getaway made this list mainly because I had his toy as a kid (and I still do, complete, intact, and in good shape with tight joints), and I’m always partial to TFs that I own. But more importantly, the G1 Powermaster figures all had pretty good molds, with cool designs and robust construction. Getaway in my opinion was the best of the Autobot car Powermasters. His alt mode is supposedly a Mazda RX-7, and the robot mode looks nicely balanced. His profile is also unique for being the masterful escape artist, something not shared by any other TF to my knowledge. In the Movie line of toys, he appeared as Breakaway (repaint of Cybertron Excellion), a Walmart exclusive. Getaway did not appear at all in the US G1 cartoons. However, he appeared many times in the US Marvel Comics continuity, and has a significant role in Vol 3 of the War Within series (which is unfortunately unfinished).

8. Bombshell
I have always too loved the Insecticons. Transforming into insects is just too freakin’ cool. I also went into why Bombshell is special for me in a previous post. Bombshell is the only Insecticon without a mouth. Though all Insecticons feed like crazy so I guess they put the mouths in their bug modes to good use. Bombshell has the special ability to mind control his targets with cerebral shells. All 3 Insecticons (and maybe even the deluxe guys from G1) would be good to re-do in the Classic line. There shouldn’t be any licensing issues whatsoever, and with insects the toy designers should be able to get very creative.

7. Scrapper
The Constructicons are one of my favorite sub-groups of all time in the TF universe. They were the first Combiner group introduced, and Devastator gave the Autobots all they can handle. Not only powerful, the Constructicons are also master builders and engineers. It’s hard to say who is the most famous Constructicon, but Scrapper definitely deserves consideration. As the Constructicon leader, he’s always supervising the Decepticon’s latest construction project, whether it be a new weapon, space cruiser, command outpost, or whatever. He seems to take an evil delight in all his creative pursuits, and I love the way he orders the team to unite when the Autobots are about to kick their butt.

6. Wheeljack
The resident “mad scientist” of the Autobots, Wheeljack is always working on something when he’s not too busy helping Ratchet repairing their wounded comrades. Wheeljack is famous for being the first TF we see on screen in the G1 cartoons and for creating the Dinobots. He does not have a mouth at all. When he speaks, the two pieces to the sides of his head lights up, indicating he has communicated. This is actually how I anticipate TFs to talk. Rumor has it that Wheeljack is getting an update in the next wave of Classic figures, something I highly anticipate.

5. Bruticus
Of all the Combiner teams, the Combaticons are my favorite. I remember back in grade school, my classmates and I would argue over which is the best Combiner team. Many voted for the Stunticons, some liked the Aerialbots. They were both good choices, but my vote goes to the Combaticons. Let me explain why. For the Stunticons and Aerialbots, the figures that form the limbs are not at all diverse. All the Aerialbot jets transform the same way, and so does the Stunticon cars (though to a lesser degree). Once you bought one, it’s like you bought them all. The Construction toys were old and outdated by the time the newer Combiners rolled around. And the Protectobots, well, they were a bunch of wussies in the cartoon so I don’t think anyone liked them. Not counting the later seasons, this only leaves the Combaticons. They were powerful in the cartoon, many times beating the other combiner teams. And as for the toy, each limb component were truly unique from each other, in both transformation and alt mode. And they all transform into combat vehicles! I don’t think it’s any surprise that Hasbro re-released this figure set 6 times after G1! That in itself should prove this is the most popular combiner set. My first Combaticon was Blastoff, and I slowly collected the rest as time went. Finding Vortex back then was a real challenge, I think he’s the rarest one out of the five. I still have my G1 set, all complete, the pride and joy of my G1 collection (though Onslaught is getting quite loose). I think all the Decepticon combined forms has the same personality (strong and dumb), but Bruticus comes from my favorite team so I had to put him on here. And when I was compiling this list, it dawned on me that all the Combaticons except for Swindle have mouthpieces, but for the sake of variety I just let Bruticus represent all of them.

4. Shockwave
If I was re-born as a Transformer, this is how I want to look like, because no one would know what I was thinking or feeling. Nevermind not having a mouth, Shockwave is completely devoid of all facial features, except for his iconic cyclops eye. When he talks, the eye starts flashing in sync with his words. So is he talking through his eye? Does the round object on his face function as both eye and mouth? We may never know, but that quality of being extremely efficient matches well with Shockwave’s personality. In the G1 cartoons he is simply the guy waiting on Cybertron (for 4 million years!), but in the comics he is given a much bigger role, often taking command of the Decepticons and conducting unorthodox experiments, such as Triple Changing and Combining technology.

3. Grimlock
“Me Grimlock not kisser, me Grimlock no need mouth!” The bad-ass that is Grimlock represents some of the very best that the Autobots have to offer. Grimlock is one of the Autobot’s most powerful warriors regardless of which TF continuity you follow, but in the US Marvel Comics continuity (and extended in the comic prequel War Within), we see that he is also a very capable leader, even taking on role as Autobot Leader form time to time when Optimus is missing or deactivated. In the cartoons, and especially in the G1 movie, he is often portrayed as the comedy relief despite being very powerful. However, no one forgets that he was the first TF character to have a T-Rex as an alt mode, and that in itself is just too damn cool. Grimlock seems to enjoy his Dino mode a lot more so than his robot mode (in the cartoon anyway), perhaps because as a T-Rex, he’s got a much bigger mouth to chomp his enemies into itty bitty pieces.

2. Soundwave
Ask any true TF fan to name his top 5 favorite Decepticons, and Soundwave is bound to be on that list. The Decepticon communications officer earned his place in TF legend not by being the most powerful warrior, but through his exploits in stealth and cunning, his monotone way of speaking, his non-personality, and last but not least, his numerous henchmen that he can eject as cassettes from his tape deck. As far as G1 toys go, Soundwave is perhaps the most accurate to the G1 cartoon. Let’s face it, the cartoons made most characters look much better than their toy representations (I’m looking at you, Ratchet and Ironhide). Soundwave is the lone exception. If you looked at him in the cartoons and imagine in your mind how his toy would look, well, that’ how it looks. His G1 mold still holds up well today. In fact it’s so good that I don’t think a Masterpiece version can really improve on it, other than making him bigger and perhaps a little more detail.

1. Optimus Prime
Like I would put anyone other than Optimus Prime in the top spot. Optimus Prime is perhaps the most iconic Transfomer of all time. His dedication to the freedom and welfare of all living beings is unrivaled. Optimus has got it all, being both a powerful warrior and capable commander. He (along with Megatron) has appeared in every Transformer continuity and spin-off. The earlier renditions of Optimus all has him appear with the mouthpiece, but later versions of the character tend to give him the lips with the mouthpiece serving as some kind of lower face shield when he’s in battle (such as Beast Wars, the Michael Bay movies, and the Animated Series). I don’t know what is the reason for this evolution, but the G1 purist in me will probably never get used to seeing Prime with moving lips. And I think not seeing the lips gives a character more authority in appearance. This is the design I prefer for Prime. There are many Optimus figures where you can pose him with the mouth shield on or off. Guess how I pose mine?

Honorable Mentions: Warpath, Powerglide, Hoist, Seaspray, Cosmos

Until next time… Transform and Roll Out!